Do you think my poem is OK?

All I have to say is, wow. It is refreshing to see this type of poetry in YA. This poem is very mature, unlike what is usually here. I love the repetion of the lines in each stanza. I only have one problem with one line of your poem. In the last stanza the line, "Wondering how long this mystery will last." There is just something about that line that, to me, seems like it was forced, like you lost your thought or ran out of things to say. It seems like the only line that somewhat ruins the poem. Maybe you could just take that line out completely or re-write it. But other than that line the poem is wonderful!